DAY 8 W

Need a win today.

LUNCH:
Five guys burger 850 calories
16oz milk 300 calories what? fucking hell. When am I going to learn to stick to vodka water??!!!?
Miniature Tombstone frozen pizza 450 calories

DINNER:
Egg foo young (no sauce) 690 calories
White rice 184 calories
Wonton soup 220 calories

TOTAL CALORIES FOR DAY: 2694 christ these things fucking add up :(

EXERCISE: Zero 1 hour walking! 456 calories burned!!!!

NET CALORIES FOR DAY: 2694 2238!! SUCK IT MOTHERFUCKERS!!!! I'll be honest, considering it's the day after softball I can't say I'm too pissed at myself. I'm not THRILLED; but if I had cut out that stupid pizza I didn't even actually want and had drunk water instead of milk, that's 750 calories. I'm starting to learn to ask myself before I eat/drink something "is this worth it?" while realizing how quickly walking around the kitchen nibbling can have the shit add up fast. I'd think whether or not I get off my fat ass and walk for an hour will determine a W or L.

DAY 7 L

Late night surprise visit from the love of my life. No, not that kind of visit. Softball Sunday. Two games. Looks like it'll be a wet one today. I'm feeling a W. If I make it through the day without getting hit by a bus.

too much beer and tequila to count. Lets assume this is a L

Cheeseburger/fries/tater tots. Total disaster. Im not even counting the calories, too depressed. Does standing throughout 2 nine-inning softball games count as exercise? Fucking christ.

DAY 6 L

Feel like today is gonna be a disaster. Itching to call Kam Sing. Grrr.

LUNCH
4 slices, Dominos thin crust pizza extra cheese/pepperoni/sausage 1284 calories
Buffalo chicken kickers 525 calories

Brutal. To squeeze out a win is still possible, but I would hafta either only eat pussy, or chug enough vodka to pass out. To be honest, I could go either way right now.

And as I've mentioned on Xmastime, the chicken was way better than the pizza.

Hey, forgot I can burn off those kickers with a long walk!! Let's stay positive, people!!!!!!

TOTAL CALORIES FOR DAY: 1809 (did I tell you I had no sauce on the pizza? might be fewer calories!!)

EXERCISE: One hour walking 456 calories burned!!

NET CALORIES FOR DAY: 1353

Net calories are actually pretty good, but I feel like ordering from fucking Dominos should automatically disqualify me from a W. Back to .500 ball :(

But those Kickers. Fucking good.

DAY 5 W!

BREAKFAST
Bacon egg & cheese on a roll 450 calories

Damn you, seductive GW Bridge ladies...my guts are gurgling. Ohoh.

2 breath mints 10 calories
1 Diet Coke (sorry Nerdhappy!) 0 calories

Starving. Let's hope I don't have a dinner meltdown at White Castle.

LUNCH
Cheese, lettuce and mayo on a roll 219 calories

About a year ago I stumbled on some book wherein the author insisted you could lose weight by eating at McDonalds every day; the idea being that they make it very easy to count your calories (like HERE.) I laughed at the idea, ironically reading it on the shitter. But tonight I was finishing my walk ("roadwork"), wondering what to eat for dinner when I happened upon McDonalds. I knew I had had only about 700 calories so far, and after walking my total caloric intake would be just over 200. 200!!!! I remembered that book, and realized hell, at least here there would be NO QUESTION how many calories I was taking in. So I said fuck it, and gave myself an allowance of 1000 calories and got a crispy chicken caesar salad (no dressing) and a McDouble!!! Obviously I don't really recommend a heavy diet of Mickey D's, but it is now instrumental in, if I can hold off the Kam Sing hotline for a few hours, another daily Win!! :)

DINNER
McDonald's crispy chicken caesar salad 330 calories
McDouble 380 calories

TOTAL CALORIES FOR DAY: 1389

EXERCISE: One hour walking 456 calories burned!!

NET CALORIES FOR DAY: 933!!!!!!!

Looking like another W!! :)

DAY 4 W!

BREAKFAST
Toenail fungus medicine 0 calories (fucking better be)
Water 0 calories

Great start!

LUNCH
1/2 bag of Doritos 1050 caloriesfffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I'm going to hafta actually exercise today. Grrr. I was better off with the pills and booze.

DINNER
1/2 bag frozen peas, 1/2 bag of frozen corn 425 calories seems like a lot, no? for fucking vegetables??

TOTAL CALORIES FOR DAY: 1475

EXERCISE: One hour walking 456 calories burned!!

NET CALORIES FOR DAY: 1019

1019!!!! AWESOME!!!! Well..if I can make it to bed without ordering Kam Sing...which is possible...(crossing fingers)

Fuck you, Doritos! You did not beat me!!!!!!

MIDNITE: Success!! Did NOT call Kam Sing!!! 1016 calories, feelin good!

DAY 3 W!

BREAKFAST
Bacon egg & cheese on a roll 450 calories
1 Arnold Palmer 150 calories
1 cup black coffee 2 calories

Fucking breath mints 25 calories
Lipton Green Tea 200 calories (really? wtf??!?!?!?)

Not off to a great start. Hmm.

Almost 1000 calories before lunch. Looks like it's gonna be another calorie-free vodka/Diet Coke dinner!

LUNCH
Cheese, lettuce and mayo on a roll 219 calories

DINNER
Turkey, cheese, lettuce and mayo on hero 557 calories

TOTAL CALORIES FOR DAY: 1602 Fucking green tea bullshit!!!!

EXERCISE: None. Fuuuuuuuuck me.

Do I crack open the calorie-free vodka/Diet Cokes......?

If I had stuck to water, like Mamalizza and I discussed yesterday, I could've shaved 350 calories off. Fucking a.

DAY 2 L :(

BREAKFAST
Bowl of Cheerios w/whole milk
One bite of Short Bus' butter sandwich

LUNCH
(in my own defense, was with 5 kids at the Coney Island Aquarium. You're lucky I didn't walk into the ocean and not stop.)
4 chicken strips w/fries
1/2 order of fries from f*&^&%%ng kids
2 of Husky's leftover chicken strips (sorry Watty)
1/2 a kid's personal pizza
Lipton iced tea
1/2 of Short Bus' mostly melted chocolate ice cream cone

DINNER
Vodka w/Diet Coke (no calories!!!!)

EXERCISE
Walked around Coney Island Aquarium coraling children for 3 hours.

DAY 1 L :(

What I Ate:
Bowl of Cheerios, whole milk
2 frozen Jeno's pizzas, pepperoni & sausage combo
Turkey hero w/cheese, mayo, lettuce
Slice of sausage pizza
Slice of pepperoni pizza
1 liter Diet Coke

Exercise: none