Monday, August 31, 2009


Need a win today.

Five guys burger 850 calories
16oz milk 300 calories what? fucking hell. When am I going to learn to stick to vodka water??!!!?
Miniature Tombstone frozen pizza 450 calories

Egg foo young (no sauce) 690 calories
White rice 184 calories
Wonton soup 220 calories

TOTAL CALORIES FOR DAY: 2694 christ these things fucking add up :(

EXERCISE: Zero 1 hour walking! 456 calories burned!!!!

NET CALORIES FOR DAY: 2694 2238!! SUCK IT MOTHERFUCKERS!!!! I'll be honest, considering it's the day after softball I can't say I'm too pissed at myself. I'm not THRILLED; but if I had cut out that stupid pizza I didn't even actually want and had drunk water instead of milk, that's 750 calories. I'm starting to learn to ask myself before I eat/drink something "is this worth it?" while realizing how quickly walking around the kitchen nibbling can have the shit add up fast. I'd think whether or not I get off my fat ass and walk for an hour will determine a W or L.

Sunday, August 30, 2009


Late night surprise visit from the love of my life. No, not that kind of visit. Softball Sunday. Two games. Looks like it'll be a wet one today. I'm feeling a W. If I make it through the day without getting hit by a bus.

too much beer and tequila to count. Lets assume this is a L

Cheeseburger/fries/tater tots. Total disaster. Im not even counting the calories, too depressed. Does standing throughout 2 nine-inning softball games count as exercise? Fucking christ.

Saturday, August 29, 2009


Feel like today is gonna be a disaster. Itching to call Kam Sing. Grrr.

4 slices, Dominos thin crust pizza extra cheese/pepperoni/sausage 1284 calories
Buffalo chicken kickers 525 calories

Brutal. To squeeze out a win is still possible, but I would hafta either only eat pussy, or chug enough vodka to pass out. To be honest, I could go either way right now.

And as I've mentioned on Xmastime, the chicken was way better than the pizza.

Hey, forgot I can burn off those kickers with a long walk!! Let's stay positive, people!!!!!!

TOTAL CALORIES FOR DAY: 1809 (did I tell you I had no sauce on the pizza? might be fewer calories!!)

EXERCISE: One hour walking 456 calories burned!!


Net calories are actually pretty good, but I feel like ordering from fucking Dominos should automatically disqualify me from a W. Back to .500 ball :(

But those Kickers. Fucking good.

Friday, August 28, 2009

DAY 5 W!

Bacon egg & cheese on a roll 450 calories

Damn you, seductive GW Bridge guts are gurgling. Ohoh.

2 breath mints 10 calories
1 Diet Coke (sorry Nerdhappy!) 0 calories

Starving. Let's hope I don't have a dinner meltdown at White Castle.

Cheese, lettuce and mayo on a roll 219 calories

About a year ago I stumbled on some book wherein the author insisted you could lose weight by eating at McDonalds every day; the idea being that they make it very easy to count your calories (like HERE.) I laughed at the idea, ironically reading it on the shitter. But tonight I was finishing my walk ("roadwork"), wondering what to eat for dinner when I happened upon McDonalds. I knew I had had only about 700 calories so far, and after walking my total caloric intake would be just over 200. 200!!!! I remembered that book, and realized hell, at least here there would be NO QUESTION how many calories I was taking in. So I said fuck it, and gave myself an allowance of 1000 calories and got a crispy chicken caesar salad (no dressing) and a McDouble!!! Obviously I don't really recommend a heavy diet of Mickey D's, but it is now instrumental in, if I can hold off the Kam Sing hotline for a few hours, another daily Win!! :)

McDonald's crispy chicken caesar salad 330 calories
McDouble 380 calories


EXERCISE: One hour walking 456 calories burned!!


Looking like another W!! :)

Thursday, August 27, 2009

DAY 4 W!

Toenail fungus medicine 0 calories (fucking better be)
Water 0 calories

Great start!

1/2 bag of Doritos 1050 caloriesfffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I'm going to hafta actually exercise today. Grrr. I was better off with the pills and booze.

1/2 bag frozen peas, 1/2 bag of frozen corn 425 calories seems like a lot, no? for fucking vegetables??


EXERCISE: One hour walking 456 calories burned!!


1019!!!! AWESOME!!!! Well..if I can make it to bed without ordering Kam Sing...which is possible...(crossing fingers)

Fuck you, Doritos! You did not beat me!!!!!!

MIDNITE: Success!! Did NOT call Kam Sing!!! 1016 calories, feelin good!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

DAY 3 W!

Bacon egg & cheese on a roll 450 calories
1 Arnold Palmer 150 calories
1 cup black coffee 2 calories
Fucking breath mints 25 calories
Lipton Green Tea 200 calories (really? wtf??!?!?!?)

Not off to a great start. Hmm.

Almost 1000 calories before lunch. Looks like it's gonna be another calorie-free vodka/Diet Coke dinner!

Cheese, lettuce and mayo on a roll 219 calories

Turkey, cheese, lettuce and mayo on hero 557 calories

TOTAL CALORIES FOR DAY: 1602 Fucking green tea bullshit!!!!

EXERCISE: None. Fuuuuuuuuck me.

Do I crack open the calorie-free vodka/Diet Cokes......?

If I had stuck to water, like Mamalizza and I discussed yesterday, I could've shaved 350 calories off. Fucking a.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

DAY 2 L :(

Bowl of Cheerios w/whole milk
One bite of Short Bus' butter sandwich

(in my own defense, was with 5 kids at the Coney Island Aquarium. You're lucky I didn't walk into the ocean and not stop.)
4 chicken strips w/fries
1/2 order of fries from f*&^&%%ng kids
2 of Husky's leftover chicken strips (sorry Watty)
1/2 a kid's personal pizza
Lipton iced tea
1/2 of Short Bus' mostly melted chocolate ice cream cone

Vodka w/Diet Coke (no calories!!!!)

Walked around Coney Island Aquarium coraling children for 3 hours.

Monday, August 24, 2009

DAY 1 L :(

What I Ate:
Bowl of Cheerios, whole milk
2 frozen Jeno's pizzas, pepperoni & sausage combo
Turkey hero w/cheese, mayo, lettuce
Slice of sausage pizza
Slice of pepperoni pizza
1 liter Diet Coke

Exercise: none